Two years ago, this month, I was in Las Vegas and then Palm Springs before the Binealle.

It is worth a longer story. A story of neglect, addiction, fear and abuse. I felt I was a tragedy. I grieve everything I lost before then and everything I was becoming.

Alone on the beach of Salton Sea is how I spent the days after Palm Springs. Something magical happened to me.

The festival appeared out of nowhere and seemingly formed around me. It showed me a world I wanted to exist in.

Then the Solar Eclipse, then Arizona, then back east... A period of my life that lasted half a year. A terrifying wonderful experience.

The abuse stays in my head. It's almost been 2 years since the Binealle and I'm here again.

I can't seem to stop the stress of my near-death experience. I can't forget what she said to me. What she did. I can't forget the feeling of my nerves dying. I can't forget the yelling and the neglect. I can't forget that nothing was consensual. Still, I can finally hear my thoughts. I can finally feel. It's coming out to the surface for the first time. I am capable.

I'm not a helpless anymore...

I'm here. I practice the key of 4.

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I'm sorry

I forgive you

Thank you

I love you

Then repeat, to yourself... to your friends and family... to your shadows...

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Everything is okay.